Warmen

Picture of Warmen

Beyond Abilities

Warmen - Beyond Abilities ©2001 Century Media
1. Beyond Abilities
2. Spark
3. Hidden
4. Trip To...
5. Dawn
6. Singer's Chance
7. Alone
8. Confessions
9. Salieri Strikes Back
10. War Of Worlds
11. Finale

The first clue that Beyond Abilities is a smoldering wreckage of warmed over spittle is the fact that this is the side project for Children of Bodom keyboardist Janne Warman. The fact that he feels the need to create a second band of dubiously over the top, fluff-ridden power metal should hopefully warn all potential listeners that indeed, this is cotton candy metal. Sure, it may look all pretty and gussied up with the immaculate production, overwhelming technical abilities of the musicians involved and sparkling colors of the album cover. But just like cotton candy, there is nothing to the facade and results in forty-six minutes of empty calories.

While Warmen avoid the raspy vocals of Children of Bodom, the band dwells firmly on the same musical ground, with a unhealthy dose of Stratovarius influence. This is no coincidence by way of geography, as Stratovarius' Timo Kotipelto guests on vocals on a couple tracks. More disturbingly, his contributions are easily confused with the fabulously nondescript Kimberly Goss. Her main contribution to this project is a sappy, cliche-ridden power ballad (complete with heavy bridges to remind headbangers that although this band is sensitive, they "rock" at the same time), a cover of Heart's "Alone". Unfortunately, the lyrics and delivery make Goss sound like a demented stalker: "How do I get you alone?" Well, Miss Goss, there's a reason they invented restraining orders. In fact, the law should extend the jurisdiction of restraining orders to keep dreadful records such as this far away from the helpless listening public.

Granted, if you are the type of listener who craves musicians showing off high-speed scales, an overdose of solos from the keyboardist and guitarist, and formula dependent songwriting that displays not even a single iota of individual character, Beyond Abilities is just for you. Needless to say, this is one CD that couldn't conclude quickly enough.

Review by John Chedsey

Review date: 11/2003

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